So I’m really not going to make the schedule I so stupidly imposed on myself. I feel a little bad because some people might actually look forward to me completing the game. And did you notice the singular in the last sentence? Yes, at the moment I’m pretty much by myself, because David unfortunately has other stuff to do. Which is one of the reasons I’m not going to be in time. But I’m not going to blame it all on him, just a little. 
No, the truth is, I have had some big struggles with the game design the last month. I figured that if I made a game that I did not wish to play myself, than there was something not good about that. Don’t get me wrong, I have made games before that I did not care to play myself. But this time, it’s different, because: 1. There is just me. I cannot offload the stuff I hate to other people. 2. I have to make my own game design. Try that when you do not care for the game design you are producing. 3. I do not get paid. 4. I have only me to motivate myself. 5. I have an old and shitty computer that does not do the new hardware acceleration that I need for this game. I like the irony of this though: Me developing a game that my own computer cannot render.
So I had a huge drop of motivation last month, when I noticed I didn’t care for my own game. Don’t worry, I’m on the upward trend at the moment. I got a lot of inspiration from watching Let’s Play’s on Youtube, specifically Might and Magic Heroes VI. Yes, these bastards had to turn the title for the sixth installment around. As if nobody would notice. Oh and by the way, I’m actually old enough to have played the original Might and Magic series, so yes, that feels like a really stupid move to me.
I’m getting side tracked here. What has Heroes got to do with Jane Austen’s Party? Not much, one would assume at first glance. But no, they gave me a brilliant idea for character development and character actions – that I’m going to carry out as soon as I can render a scene with more than one character in it. This computer that I have is really starting to annoy me on that scale. It actually helped me keep performance down the first couple of month, because it had to render everything with the CPU, thus forcing me to keep everything very low-poly. Which even impressed other developers. Not the low-poly, but the amount of characters and animations I got to render at the same time. But now I’ve somehow crossed this thin line of being able to render with more that 5 FPS. Don’t know why exactly, but anyway I decided that it was time to buy a knew computer. The lovely people of Dell didn’t think so though, and I have been waiting 3 weeks for the thing to arrive now. Hopefully it will come at the end of this week. I’m doing UI stuff and windows for now, that’s all my dying computer can take at the moment. Did you see the last three screenshots? I did that. Yeah! I’m pretty proud of myself, because, as mentioned before, I’m not a graphics artist. And even David doesn’t feel a strong urge to go over my designs for the final version.
So I know, that’s somehow bad news. But the upside is: it’s going to be a much cooler game, when I’m finished. At least I think so. OK, maybe some people might find it to be a bit too complex. I’m really planning on getting a good arc into the game, but one never knows. I would understand if people didn’t want to play that. I really want fluffy games sometimes, especially for the in-between times, when I want to relax, not think harder. So that might be a problem. But since I’m not really convinced anymore that I’m ever going to make any money with this, I might as well please myself. That’s the beauty of only being accountable to myself – I have absolute power over where I want this game to go. Not a good note to end? Don’t worry. It’s really going to be a cool game. Just throw your preconceptions over board and be ready to be challenged more than expected and everything will be fine.
